My Theme for 2013-2014

A former colleague and friend of mine creates a theme each academic year for his college students.  I've been thinking about this idea for a few weeks now because I think an academic year theme, for me, is much more practical than a New Year's Resolution. A new academic year means many changes- a new weekly schedule, new students, new events, new goals for my office, myself, and my students, and new opportunities.  The New Year only symbolically offers those things to me and I'm already carrying out the previous semester's "To Do List", so I will stay true to my roots and go academic year.

After much deliberation, I've decided that my personal theme will be "Change what I can." 

On especially stressful days, I find myself reciting the serenity prayer to myself.  

I find the prayer does help me center myself, prioritize problems, and remind me that I cannot control everything.  I can only control myself, my attitude, and how I treat other people.  My job requires quite a bit of event planning and I've learned over and over again (because I frequently ignore this simple fact) that no matter how much I plan and organize, something will happen that I did not account for.  I need to just accept that and roll with it. I also spend a fair amount of time trying to change people- I have a hard time accepting that it is not my job to challenge, encourage, and hold accountable every person I've ever met.  (... Or maybe that is a good thing... jury's still out on that.  Maybe that will be a whole post in itself!)

In fact, recently, while speaking to a relative's boyfriend who I do not know very well, I was asking him to tell me a secret or tell me what he is afraid of.  You may think that is a weird and intimate question to ask someone whom I do know very well, and you are right.  I have a habit of doing that!  My friend walked over while I was talking to him and said "are you student life-ing again?".  I couldn't help but laugh!  

I also need to control my schedule more.  Sincerely, last semester, I had at least two days each week that I had less than 45 minutes outside of meetings.  Mind you, those meetings I left with more to be added to my to-do lists.  So I would be sitting in a meeting, getting more to do, and stressing about all the things I should be doing while in said meeting!  It was exhausting.  The truth is though, I did not need to go to every meeting, and I did not need to take on all those tasks- I was just jumping at every opportunity.  So this year, I am never going to spend more than half my day in a meeting.  I am writing that here to hold myself accountable!

Sometimes, I take on too many projects and spread myself too thin.  I've let people down, been considered unreliable at times, and I spend far too much time feeling guilty about not returning a phone call, remembering a birthday card, or being present at an event I was invited to.  I believe this would all be avoided if I was honest with myself about what I can handle and manage.  I take my job very seriously, but my husband, family, and friends are more important and I need to keep that in perspective.

So, the energy I spend getting frustrated about things beyond my control, about other people, and about the world at large, I will instead use to affect change in my own corner of the world where appropriate and practical.  I will read books to be more educated on world problems and the psychology of human interaction.  I will say no to that superfluous meeting that I really do not need to be present at so I can use that hour to get things done.  I will accept people for who they are and only interfere with their lives when I am invited to.  I will keep myself to a 40 hour work week as much as possible so I can honor my personal relationships appropriately.

Have you ever considered creating a theme for yourself?  If you have, I challenge you to create one with me this year.  Comment below to tell me what your theme is, I'd love to hear it- and maybe you'll inspire me for next year's theme!

Wish me luck!